Brady

While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you’ll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it’s worth, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you’ll decide to go your separate ways, or you’ll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.

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I’m having one of those real lazy weekends, the ones where you do the bare minimum and spend most of the time sleeping. So what does the bare minimum mean for me? It means sleep in till 1PM, lounge around in PJ’s most of the day, no cleaning and no work what so ever.

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Closing down my webhost. The day has come; I’ve had enough of webhosting and I cannot afford the £100/month anymore. I have found a cheap webhost for my few personal sites, Steezmatic-Designs and l3rady. The webhost is the same company that provided my server. At least I know their customer service is good and their network uptime is very good too

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Yesterday I had to go to York to clean my old flat so it was ready for inspection on Thursday. Well I stopped by in town to get lunch and went to Subway. Well there was a long queue and while I was waiting I was watching the staff serve people, as you do. One of the girls serving looked familiar. I swore I knew her. Well when I got closer and could hear her speaking and I was like yup I know that voice. It was a girl I went to school with at Howsham Hall like 5 years ago.

I could remember her surname “Smith” but not her first name. Anyway one of the staff said her name “Ella” and was like YES that’s defiantly her.

That’s the first person I had seen from Howsham Hall since leaving 5 years ago. As I left Howsham Hall early and didn’t get time to say good bye to any one I lost all contact with the staff and friends there. As it was busy in Subway I just left a number with Ella to give me a ring. Maybe I can see what happened to everyone and where everybody is now. She most probably not ring as she never liked me at school but that’s not why I left my number. It was in the hope that she might still talk to some of my friends from school. I’d love to catch up with my friends and see what they are doing now.

I was surprised to see Ella working in Subway though… You would think that with a good education background she would have a decent job. Well I suppose you have to start somewhere. Before I was working at Ford I was cleaning in a pub in the morning.

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I’m at a point now where life has become difficult. Is it wrong for a guy to cry? Well I have just done that. I was just lying in bed and praying for what I always pray for and hoping that it happens soon. What do I pray for? For someone to love, to hold and confide in… Doesn’t seem so hard does it, but something that has been very hard for me. But yet how am I to find someone to confide in when I continue to hide behind my blog? It has come to a point in my life where this lack of love is ruining my life. It’s always there on my mind… I try to hide from it by working hard and tiring myself out but the tiredness only seems to make it worse.

There is a girl I know. It appears we are great friends, but my feelings and my wants seem to be ruining our friendship. This is the last thing I want as then I would be truly alone. Just the thought of this brings tears to my eyes.

I keep telling myself that everything will work its way out. Everything usually does over time. I’ll keep going and pretend everything is normal. Keep working hard at my studies and at work and maybe one day my prays will become reality.

To all those reading this I wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

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Not many updates recently but been very busy and very tired Well I’m all moved into my flat in Leeds. I’m quite cosy here and getting to know the housemates well. One house mate I haven’t talked to yet but I’m sure in time we will.
Getting to university is very easy by bike, unfortunately its winter now and it rains a lot so I’ve gotten wet through several times. Getting to work is hard work though. I cycle to the train station to Leeds (15 mins), then on the train to York with my bike (30 mins) and then cycle to work (15 mins). The 2 hours of transport make it a very long day and makes it very tiring but I can’t complain because of all this cycling I’m sure I’ve lost weight. I will have to go out and buy some scales and check. I haven’t weighed myself for almost a year now. Thing is if I get some scales I will then start obsessing about my weight

Christmas is round the corner and I can’t spend a great deal as money is tight at the moment. I’m spending Christmas with my mother at her new log cabin this year. I’m sure my mother and I will always have Christmas together as we are the only family. Just done a bit of Christmas shopping, just need to get some cards to send out to my good friends

Well if I don’t update again before Christmas I wish you all have a great holiday and drink responsibly

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