Closing down my webhost. The day has come; I’ve had enough of webhosting and I cannot afford the £100/month anymore. I have found a cheap webhost for my few personal sites, Steezmatic-Designs and l3rady. The webhost is the same company that provided my server. At least I know their customer service is good and their network uptime is very good too 
Yesterday I had to go to York to clean my old flat so it was ready for inspection on Thursday. Well I stopped by in town to get lunch and went to Subway. Well there was a long queue and while I was waiting I was watching the staff serve people, as you do. One of the girls serving looked familiar. I swore I knew her. Well when I got closer and could hear her speaking and I was like yup I know that voice. It was a girl I went to school with at Howsham Hall like 5 years ago.
I could remember her surname “Smith” but not her first name. Anyway one of the staff said her name “Ella” and was like YES that’s defiantly her.
That’s the first person I had seen from Howsham Hall since leaving 5 years ago. As I left Howsham Hall early and didn’t get time to say good bye to any one I lost all contact with the staff and friends there. As it was busy in Subway I just left a number with Ella to give me a ring. Maybe I can see what happened to everyone and where everybody is now. She most probably not ring as she never liked me at school 
but that’s not why I left my number. It was in the hope that she might still talk to some of my friends from school. I’d love to catch up with my friends and see what they are doing now.
I was surprised to see Ella working in Subway though… You would think that with a good education background she would have a decent job. Well I suppose you have to start somewhere. Before I was working at Ford I was cleaning in a pub in the morning.
I’m at a point now where life has become difficult. Is it wrong for a guy to cry? Well I have just done that. I was just lying in bed and praying for what I always pray for and hoping that it happens soon. What do I pray for? For someone to love, to hold and confide in… Doesn’t seem so hard does it, but something that has been very hard for me. But yet how am I to find someone to confide in when I continue to hide behind my blog? It has come to a point in my life where this lack of love is ruining my life. It’s always there on my mind… I try to hide from it by working hard and tiring myself out but the tiredness only seems to make it worse.
There is a girl I know. It appears we are great friends, but my feelings and my wants seem to be ruining our friendship. This is the last thing I want as then I would be truly alone. Just the thought of this brings tears to my eyes.
I keep telling myself that everything will work its way out. Everything usually does over time. I’ll keep going and pretend everything is normal. Keep working hard at my studies and at work and maybe one day my prays will become reality.
To all those reading this I wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
Not many updates recently but been very busy and very tired 
Well I’m all moved into my flat in Leeds. I’m quite cosy here and getting to know the housemates well. One house mate I haven’t talked to yet but I’m sure in time we will.
Getting to university is very easy by bike, unfortunately its winter now and it rains a lot so I’ve gotten wet through several times. Getting to work is hard work though. I cycle to the train station to Leeds (15 mins), then on the train to York with my bike (30 mins) and then cycle to work (15 mins). The 2 hours of transport make it a very long day and makes it very tiring but I can’t complain because of all this cycling I’m sure I’ve lost weight. I will have to go out and buy some scales and check. I haven’t weighed myself for almost a year now. Thing is if I get some scales I will then start obsessing about my weight
Christmas is round the corner and I can’t spend a great deal as money is tight at the moment. I’m spending Christmas with my mother at her new log cabin this year. I’m sure my mother and I will always have Christmas together as we are the only family. Just done a bit of Christmas shopping, just need to get some cards to send out to my good friends
Well if I don’t update again before Christmas I wish you all have a great holiday and drink responsibly
In bed and there is something I want to write but I can’t seem to put what I’m feeling into words. I’ve just seen a side of some one that has made me realize something; that it’s happening all over again. Do I stop it now before it gets out of hand? Or do I continue and hope that everything works out? Oh that’s the feeling… “Love”.
Ok I don’t think I’ve told you so far but I have found a place to stay in Leeds. No it’s not with my friend. I decide not to stay there since it was to far from the city centre and would make my transport far to long to work everyday. Plus the place I have found is nearly the same price I would have had to pay there at my friends.
So after looking on the internet for not very long I found a few rooms for let from one guy. I rang him and he arranged to pick me up from the train station to show me round the flats he has available.
First one I was shown was a very small room and I wasn’t interested at all. The second one was just smaller than a double room but when a single bed in there, there was plenty of room to swing a cat around The shared amenities where very clean and well furnished and the housemates already living there seemed nice and quiet.
Upon discussion the landlord wanted £250/pcm (Per Calendar Month) but said that was going out of my budget. I ask would he be interested in me paying up front for 6 months at a time and guarantee him 12 months of rent. If so what rent could he do me? £225/pcm was his answer. Yes what a bargain! Also did I mention that all bills are included and also free internet. No I didn’t lol. I bet you thought that that was a lot, but no it isn’t.
So I move out shortly from my flat in York. I’ve rang NPower and Yorkshire Water. All I do is give them a final meter reading before I move and they will bill me any remainder. I tried to ring BT the other day to ask about cutting the line off but I was on hold for 25 minutes so I hung up because I was clearly wasting my time. I need to contact Hunters next to say that I’m moving out. Then after that I need to contact all the places that have my address and get the address changed.
I decided to go down by the river and sit and look out for a bit. Just to clear my head etc. Well when I got out “Burr” it was freezing. So after all that I never did take a sit down. Was far too cold to be sitting still. So instead took a walk along the river to keep warm. Oh and along the way I saw a squirrel 
obviously it was looking for nuts for the winter. I sneaked up to it and took a short video hehe.
You can’t see much but as you can see as soon as i got close it ran up the tree. Later on when not recording it, it came back down and continued its hunt for nuts lol.
I JUST WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE!!! AHHH what am I shouting for?? Well I just have the urge to go somewhere far away. Something that puts me in the middle of nowhere with no help what so ever…
I want a challenge. I want to climb the highest mountain Wow slow down a bit… I’m not old enough to have a mid life crisis yet!! Ok back to earth Scott
I’ve been invited out by Emma and her friend Laura on Friday night to go around town 
Emma one of my oldest friends is trying to get me hooked up with her friend Laura lol. We will wait and see what happens on Friday shall we? I’ve talked to Laura already but I just don’t feel a connection there and told Emma, it most probably will not work out, but she is persistent to get me together with Laura. Also what doesn’t help I love another girl And guess what that girl is unavailable Problems all around hehehe.
Hehehe today I decided to sleep in yes its Thursday and I’m not due into university until 3:45PM. I was suppose to meet someone in Leeds at 11AM but I was just so tired that I couldn’t be bothered going in so early.
Last few days have been very stressful. I’m found a place in Leeds and I’m moving out from York I never really knew how hard it is to move. There is so much involved Plus it doesn’t help that I’m now working 8AM-6PM each day at work. I had changed my hours to 9AM-5PM because it was becoming too much. I was always tired and never had much time to do anything else. Well now I’ve had to re-up my hours because those extra 2 hours a day gives me that little bit more cash I need but yes now I’m ever so tired again LOL. It’s a no win situation.
So today I’m taking it steady and trying to feel good. I’ve had a good sleep in. I’ve gotten up without rushing. Gone into town to get some breakfast and then popped into NRG to show my passport, and now I’m on the train to Leeds. I’ve decided to take the train that goes the long way round so it gives me time to right this. Plus I’m also listening to Barbara Streisand Nice and relaxed ahhhhhhhhhh.